Makin’ It Work – the Real Story of the Merovingians

Early last week as we sat down to do history, and the kids were making grumbly noises about coloring their maps, I remembered that I had been thinking we were overdue for a "craft." They do spice up history so. I vaguely remembered something in the activity book about making some sort of decorative something. Cool, I thought, they can color that while I read. "Okay, kids, today we will make Merovingian brooches," I said in my yeah, I've got it all together voice. Foolishly I said this before reading all the instructions. They said:

You will need:

• white unlined paper check
• pencil check
• gold, blue, red and yellow Sculpey, WHAT??!! Sculpey?? I thought we were coloring!
• copper wire, at least 16 gauge, at hardware stores, Copper Wire??!! When was the last time I was at a hardware store?? No trip planned today.
• hammer, okay, whew, got one of those, but what will we hammer?
• drinking glass check
• glass pie plate check
• pin back (at craft stores) um….maybe we can figure something else out…

After panicking, I remembered that there might actually be some Sculpey left unused in a crafty drawer downstairs. “Hang on, just a minute kids, keep coloring the maps.” Ah! There was indeed Sculpey! Just enough to make us some dandy brooches. Back upstairs. Ta Da! “Here kids, we shall make our Merovingian brooches out of this Sculpey! Too bad about the wire, that would’ve looked cool.” Marina, looking at me funny, “Don’t we have some copper wire? Down with the beading stuff?” Oh. Maybe we do….back down to the crafty drawers…yes, indeed some copper wire, not 16 gauge, but never mind that. From then on, I sat down, took a deep breath and read all the instructions out loud. And it worked, and our brooches turned out pretty neat.

Then of course, we needed an event to which to wear our brooches, so we hatched the notion of a Merovingian meal. Merovingians were sort of descendants of the Gaulish tribes, sort of like Asterix, right? And there was a pork tenderloin the freezer we could have for wild boar and we mixed up some lovely pink magic potion, also a la Asterix. A little historically off, but festive! There were instructions in the book for making yarn wigs, and I was just going to use the big skein of unused green yarn I found downstairs, but there was general outcry against green hair, so I caved and actually bought yarn to make the wigs, which went against my plan of using up what we have. Peter almost cried because we were making him wear a wig and no amount of telling him how fierce and manly the Merovingians were could allay his distress. In the end, he came around because Manu set a good example as Clovis. I was Clotilda, but yesterday I placed a ban on posting dorky photos of one’s mother.